"Too big... too small... too big... too small... too small..."This is the first page of what was supposed to be a comic book that was never drawn, because the illustrator had to go and attend a different college than I, didn't he? So it goes, I guess. Here it lies. Maybe I'll write more. Maybe not.
"Le exis"
"Too big... too small... too big... too small... too small..."
He rubbed his eyes and exhaled.
"I should have been a barber." Barbers don't have to worry about defending their earthly possesions from giant rabid insects, do they? Barbers know the difference between a hallucination and a bad dream... maybe I need a vacation... maybe a nice hobby... a pet... a killing spree. Yes, that's it... I'll catch one of these bastards, keep him as a pet, name him 'Eugene the Giant Rabid Ugly Fly' and ride around on him, killing these useless drones with this old, trusty, gut-devouring weapon-thingy..." he said, carressing his pencil sharpener. "First fucker that looks at me the wrong way... WHAM!"
He hurled the deadly object in the direction of his co-worker. It landed on the victim's desk with a not-so-resounding "ka-think". The owner of the desk stirred from her slumber, mumbled something half-coherently about fishermen and fell back asleep.
"That was just a warning shot, you fiends!" He thrust his fist in the air for emphasis.
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He stepped out into the scorching desert air. He squinted from the sun.
"Desolate... nothing but a giant fucking wasteland..."
"Pardon?" asked the co-worker.
"Goddammit, haven't you ever heard of a soliloquoy?! Ever since the Comet, intelligent life has all but ceased to exist on this rock..."
"Which comet? The Heaven's Gate one?"
"Are you both ugly and brain-dead?! The one that created this... this.. barren nothingness!" He cried, as he waved towards the adjascent office building.