Who is Desmond "6 Inches Uncut" Strange?
A better question, I think, would be, "Who isn'tDesmond 'Hairy Bisexual' Strange?" Desmond "The Body" Strange is a lover. A fighter. A truely hopeless romantic. He is everything you could ever want in a man: tall, dark, handsome, bisexual, fun-loving, clean and disease-free...and HAIRY. We're talking 110% pure, uncensored, unadulterated MAN, ladies. He'll rescue your kitten from a tree! He'll program your VCR! He'll walk your dog, do your laundry, take out your garbage, pop the zits on your back, scrape the grime from your feet, paint your fence, fix your radiator, eat your leftovers, and so much more!
No one is really sure where Desmond "Lucky Strike" Strange's story begins, but he entered our previously unblessed lives on January 21, 1998, with this life-altering message:
Subject: Hairy bisexual
Author: Desmond Strange
Date: 1998/01/21
Newsgroups: alt.alt.life.the-universe.and-everything
Yes, I'm a very hairy, bisexual, 36 yo, professional man, black hair
(balding) green eyes, 5'8" 175#, 35" waist, 6" long X 4.75"
circumference cut cock (head 6.28" circumference), large shaven balls,
disease free, discreet, and exceedingly clean.
ISO: smooth muscular (muscular stomach a +), very clean, discreet,
disease free, average-handsome top 18-45 yo. The size, race, or cut
of your equipment is not important to me. What is important is that
you are clean and disease free.
I love sucking cock and fucking pussy. I need to practice my deep
throat technique. I would most like to be throat-fucked or to suck
the cock of a man while fucking his attractive wife. Swallowing cum
is a real turn on for me.
Most of us were simply awestruck. How could we be so lucky?? What ultimate good had we done for such an arch-angelic presense in our newsgroup? "Immediate action MUST be taken!" seemed to be the general attitude of the populace. Our very own Dr. Busternaut, Ph.D., took the challenge head-on:
Subject: Re: Hairy bisexual
Author: Dr. Busternaut
Date: 1998/01/21
Newsgroups: alt.alt.life.the-universe.and-everything
Hmmmmm....a most interesting case indeed, Mr., ahh...Strange is it?
You speak of your "cock" being 6 inches long...well, here in the We
Know Everything Club, a rooster should be properly maintained to a
consistent height of 14 inches. Perhaps you are subconciously remembering
yourself as a child, when you would run around the pen chasing the
chickens, when the horrible evil rooster came around, and you soiled
yourself.
This "ISO" you speak of...a lost love, perhaps? Maybe S/he left you
for another wo/man?
You mention the term "disease-free" an awful lot. I can only assume
that you are hypochondriatic. That is, you have an uncontrollable fear of
becoming sick. Hypochondriacs usually assume that they have a fatal
ailment even with small health infractions such as headaches and sore
throats.
But no matter. You seem like a very assertive (albeit ravingly
perverted) type of person. You will either get over thin in time, or
"someone" will "suck" your "cock" right off.
--
Dr. Busternaut, Ph.D., International Know-It-All, Genius At Large (GAL)
Agnostic #1019
But, regretfully, not everyone felt graced by Desmond's breif visit. As our beloved Sherri said:
Subject: Re: Hairy bisexual
Author: Sherri Baby
Date: 1998/01/21
Newsgroups: alt.alt.life.the-universe.and-everything
Desmond Strange wrote in article
<34c549b0.5307515@news.mounet.com>...
> Yes, I'm a very hairy, bisexual, 36 yo, professional man, black hair
Oh yeah, he's strange all right....and what POSSIBLE place does this have
in this newsgroup?? Excuse me, whilst I go be ill now....
--
<---Sherri--->
Wherever you are, Desmond "Large Shaven Balls" Strange...we miss you. We really just haven't been the same since you left. Changed newsgroups, even. Others will tell you we moved for different reasons, but I personally believe it was to attempt to cover the scars your passage left us with.
In Memory
of our Dear Friend
Desmond "Balding Green Eyes" Strange
January 21, 1998 - January 23, 1998
"Disease Free, Discreet, and Exceedingly Clean."