Dear Diary,

I received a phone call the other night from someone claiming to have fantastic news. It was SO GREAT that I just might want to sit down. What was it? My name had just been drawn THAT MORNING as a finalist in a big sweepstakes. How amazing! My name had only been drawn that morning; however, the company’s name and phone number showed up TWICE last week on my caller ID. WOW, caller ID that can fortell the future! Gee, if I could make a deal with the phone company, I'd be rich. Then I wouldn't have to win a sweepstakes (especially one that I hadn't entered).

Anyway, this tele-marketer kept telling me about the prizes that I could win--lots of money, a big fancy car, a big screen TV and other MINOR prizes. I asked him what the catch was and his response was, “Ms. X... Ms. X.....stop that! Now, why would you think there is a catch?”

Well, could it be because there always is one?

In addition to becoming a finalist in this marvelous sweepstakes, I also won a quartz watch. I wonder if this watch is the same as the one that I supposedly won last year? That was one fantastic watch--as free as the air and just as invisible.

I would also receive three magazines absolutely FREE for 60 months. The tele-marketer was very excited as he said, “And you can chose another magazine from choices X, Y, and Z. Which one would you like?” Notice how the word “FREE” wasn't mentioned this time? As this contest doesn't have a CATCH, I wonder if that thing beginning to appear before me is a HOOK?

As I didn't want any of those magazines, I could choose between three other ones (again with no mention of the word, “FREE”). When I still said no, the man asked, “Ms. X, do you read?”

You mean that there are words in magazines? Wow, what a concept? I thought that they were just adult versions of picture books.

Well, I do read. In fact, I converted my dining room into a library so that I would have a place to put my bookcases. And I still need another room to hold the overflow.

It will be interesting to see if I receive any of these so-called “free” prizes since I turned down the non-free magazine. And speaking of magazines....“Hey Ed, I’m still waiting for you to knock on my door.”