So let's be realistic.

I am not god.

Obviously.

But I come pretty damned close, no?

I mean I look in the mirror and I smile because I am so sauve. I smile because I am Joshua Scott Chasez. This good looking, damn fine, son of a bitch from Nsync, the most phenomenal band ever. Not to mention me being the lead singer too. All the rest of the guys are okay, but let's face it, there is no NSYNC without me.

Uh huh.

I'm too sexy for my shirt.

Man. Right said fred was so right.

I AM too sexy for my damned shirt.

Needless to say, I am THE finest man on earth.

I love it when I compliment myself.

I so seldom get ego boosts like this.

Sexy, sexy, sexy, mutherfucking sexy JC coming down the catwalk…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

JUSTIN RANDALL TIMBERLAKE. THE SHIT SHIT SHIT.

Exactly, man.

I am the shit.

You know why?

Because I am so fucking talented.

JC acts like the way-too-confident-let-me-show-you-my-ass type of guy.

Yeah right.

Trippin, JC. YOU ARE TRIPPIN.

I know the real truth.

JC's scared shitless of me. He knows I hold the whole damned group together and he's scared I'll leave and take all the fame with me.

HA.

HA.

I love laughing in JC's face.

I am such a genius.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

JAMES LANCE BASS.

AHAHAHHAHA.

You don't know me.

At all.

I'm no southern honey sweet boy.

Shut the fuck up.

I aint gay.

Shut the fuck up.

Who cares if justin and jc sing all the main parts.

I STILL HAVE A DAMNED TALENTED VOICE, you shit.

Okay, well, at least our boy lance here still has some hope left. I think.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

JOSEPH ANTHONY FATONE.

I am not fat.

I am not a failure.

I do not just sing background vocals.

I CAN sing.

I do NOT have sex with every woman I see.

I AM a good man.

I AM NOT a wimp.

CHRIS does not think I'm stupid.

See how much self esteem classes along with anger management courses help?!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

CHRISTOPHER ALAN KIRKPATRICK.

Uh huh.

Yeah.

Motherfucking 30 year olds in the lameass trick of a BOYBAND.

I'm no popstar.

I'm too old to prance around in yo skin tight pants and dance like there ain't no tomorrow in front of 20 million prepubscent girls who don't even fucking know my name.

I'M CHRIS.

THE ONE WHO ALWAYS STANDS NEXT TO JUSTIN.

Damn. I even tried to use that stupid son of a bitch for publicity. He isn't worth a damned piece of dogshit.

Someone save me from this hell hole I happen to call life.

SO THERE.

There's your day in a popstar's shoes. Choose a motherfucking boyband member.