Here I am in my little corner, staring at the wall like a wondrous star ready to shoot across the sky for just me, no one else but me.

But I seldom am I so selfish because I can only be greedy in my moments of complete solitude. And those come in irregular patterns and usually only last for a few mere seconds.

This is why I have no time to spare for you and I apologize for this. I couldn't remember what it was like to smile without straining myself. I'm sorry.

But see, I live for these seconds. Seconds I cannot spare but I do anyways to let myself feel normal again. Seconds that tick on by my clock that last for hours on end, and seconds that make me feel alive again.

There's another thing. I've aged so much but my skin doesn't bear my pain. My heart bears my burden and my head bears my fake smile and sparkling teeth.

I know I've grown so much older and I have already asked my mother to forgive me, so now the question is…. Will you?

I can't express how sorry I am for sprouting up before your eyes when I wasn't ready to be picked. But see, that's how my life was. I was just a mere lily growing in the back of the rose garden that was never really ready to provide any comfort, just pain. And when I was pulled up from my roots, I felt something in the back of my heart omitting a sharp pang. And now, I know, that it must have been your presence. I was at such a tender age when I was plucked from obscurity and into a world of disruption. My peaceful world was gone and thus I am standing in the middle of my own personal hellhole.

If you ever remember a Justin, remember the one that vowed never to leave. Remember the Justin that had always been there, through thick and thin. Remember the Justin that I was years ago, not the one I am now.

If I could only set the hands of my time back to years ago when I was still an insecure 14 year old, I swear to you I'd would do it in less than a heartbeat.

It's all I want...and all I'll ever need.