Twenty minutes later, I was standing outside of The Plaza, twirling my keys around and pondering if my feet would have enough courage to greet a man I hadn't seen in nearly 6 years. I shivered at the biting cold and hesitantly stepped inside. The bright lights of the chandeliers almost blinded me as I stepped into the Lobby. The hotel was lavishly decorated. The walls bore the tapestries that were no doubt silk and the tables were a fine mahogany wood, red in color and smooth in texture. The carpet below was soft and delicately designed with large, blooming roses that were elegantly displayed in a splash of colors. I stepped into the large elevator alone and pressed the buttons nervously to my desired floor. A tiny ding was heard and the bellhop smiled at me. I only smiled back and hopped out of the elevator.

I looked about and noticed that I was in a hallway that was similarly decorated like the lobby. At the end of the halls were multiple conference rooms and ballrooms. I found conference B at the end of the corridor and contemplated my thoughts. The doors were glass and so the people inside were staring at me. I noticed this almost immediately and almost walked away when a young man opened the doors wide for me. I stepped in and there he was, staring at me. He stood up and ran towards me.

"JULIET!" He embraced me and I smiled at his touch.

"Hey Unc. Long time no see, huh?"

He only screamed, "HELL YEAH!" He leaned down and whispered in my ear. "We've got some talking to do in private, my dear." I smiled and nodded faintly.

He let go of me and motioned for me to come towards two men seated at the table. I obeyed and he smiled.

"Juliet, this is J.C. and Joey."

J.C. stood up to shake hands with me. "Hello Juliet. I'm J.C. J.C…Chasez. Pleasure to meet you."

I smiled and said the same. "Juliet Lee. Pleasure to meet you too."

We talked for about five minutes and I came to the conclusion that JC seemed to be a fairly compassionate man. His personality was a bit rough, but I think I liked him that way. However, his smiles and laughs were heartwarming. He was a refreshing man. I found myself smiling over him.

Joey stood up and came over to me. He shook hands with me and smiled. His smile was genuine, so beautiful, so playful, and so…warming. At first impression, he seemed to be a very gentle man and that could be serious yet extremely playful.

I smiled back at him and before I could say another word, in walked three other men I had not seen ever before in my life.

Johnny only smiled and motioned for them to come to us. The three men nodded and came forward. One stuck out his hand politely and took matters into his own hands.

"Hi. I'm Lance. Lance Bass."

"Hello Lance. Nice to meet you. I'm Juliet.." Before I could even finish my sentence, Joey stuck his head into our greeting.

"..Lee. Juliet Lee. She's a friend of Johnny's. Just met her 2 minutes ago, but she seems like a sweet one." He smiled back at me and poked my side. I instantly smiled and decided that I liked him. His playful side only made me feel giddy inside and that was something that rarely ever came out.

Lance just smiled at Joey's antics and turned back to me. "Don't mind Joe, he's always sticking his head into other people's conversations. Literally."

I threw him an amused look. Joey shrugged, Lance stifled laughter.

I hadn't spoken much to Lance, but he had a southern comfort vibe pulsating throughout his handshake, his smile, and his laughter. I found that interesting.

But before I could contemplate any more of my thoughts, two men who stood in back of Lance moved their faces up to my own and introduced themselves as Justin and Chris.

Justin was tall, blue eyed, and brown haired. I didn't find him impeccably attractive, but he had his own little adorable look. My first impression of him was polite but slightly standoffish. I didn't like him much. He was was like bitter wine, it was an acquired taste and for me, I just couldn't get used to him right away. He didn't seem to acknowledge me from then on, but it was not quite a rude thing, but it was if he expected not to see me again and so he would not have to work hard to gain my acceptance. I too had the same thought when I threw him a quaint nod. He only walked away.

Chris was unusually quiet and I noticed it was not depression of any sort, it was just his nature. Personally, I loved it. He didn't seem cold, but not too warm either. He was like Justin in a way though they looked as if they differed in age by quite a bit.

I later learned that Chris was 30, Justin was 20, Joey was 23, J.C. was 24, and Lance was 22. They were grown men that seemed to have quite a bond. I wondered about this and questioned Johnny later on and all he gave in return was a smirk. He seemed to think I was somewhat joking and when he realized I was confused beyond belief, he decided to fill me in on the last five years of his life.

We were sitting at lunch, just him and me. We were talking about small things. He told me about his management group. I thought he was kidding. I should have known better that Johnny never kidded about things like those. So as he traced back the last 5 years of his life, he told me about this group. This music group. Nsync. I'd seen flashes of them through my old roommate's obsessed state of mind. I had not in my fondest dream ever guessed that Johnny had led these five men to intense populularity and stardom. I, needless to say, was proud of him. They had become increasingly popular over the years. He accused me of falling off the face of earth for not knowing too much about them. I told him I fell off a long time ago and I accused him of being on an ego trip. He told me he had been on an ego trip for 5 years. I smiled.

When he was driving me back to the hotel he was staying at, I decided to tell him about the last 5 years of my own life. More importantly, the last few days of my life. I told him about the apartment. I told him about college. I filled him in on my job. He didn't say anything for a solid ten minutes. We were riding on the elevator when he finally decided to open his mouth.

"Juliet, are you scared?"

I was taken aback. I expected anything but that. "Shouldn't you ask me if I'm crazy first?"

"No. Because I have faith in you."

"So you must then have enough faith in me to know that I'm not scared."

He only stared at me. A soft ding was heard as the elevator doors opened wide. I stepped out. He followed suit.

"That may be true. But let it be known that I can see right through you when you lie, sweetheart. Juliet, what are you going to do with your life?" His voice was much louder now.

"You want the truth?"

"I expect no less from you."

"Fine. The absolute and complete truth is that..I have no idea. I have no idea where this is going. I have no idea what to expect when I wake up in the morning. I have no one to see, nowhere to go, and I don't need that kind of cushion anymore. I can't remember a time when I felt like this. When I didn't have to hide behind my work..and school above all else."

"So, what? We open up a new chapter in your book? We title it, 'Living on the wild side? Making my own coffee? Conquering my own destiny?' Juliet, you have never been one to spiritualize your life."

That made me wince. His tone was sarcastic and sadistic. "First of all, yes, this is a new chapter. This is my life and I can open chapters whenever the damned hell I feel like. Second of all, I don't drink coffee, you know that. I thought I'd left you with the image of a bright-eyed 15 year old tea drinker 5 years ago. And thirdly, I thought you had faith in me. What happened to that? What happened to supporting me?"

"Listen Juliet, I do. But I also have some common sense. I also have sanity. I also know that no one does what you did not long ago on a daily basis. I know that I want stability. What about you? What about college? What about law school?"

"I want stability. But first I want to be happy with myself and my own life. The last years of my life have been routine, unreal, fleeting. But for once, I'd like to do something right. Do you have any idea what it's like to wake up in the morning knowing your exact schedule? Knowing that nothing will ever change? Knowing that surprises are rare occurences? I'm sorry Johnny, but I can't live like that anymore. I can't live life in a dead zone. My life was strangling me. I needed something to liven up my days. I needed something that wouldn't leave me so empty. And as for school, I finished college. Done. Dealt with. I just didn't fully complete law school. Becoming a lawyer may have been for the old me, but I believe in doing something that makes you happier. I just..want to be happy, John. Can't you support me in that at least?"

"Of course I want you to be happy. But at the risk of sounding anywhere near parental, are you sure you're ready for letting go of it all? Are you sure this is what you want? Leaving something unfinished? Without closure? You gave up your scholarship. The one that you earned. The one that you put everything, including your life, and invested into. And now, you want to throw it all away? Just like that? I'm sorry Juliet, but I'd understand if I was there with you every step of the way. But I haven't been there to witness your life. I haven't been there for the day by day account of your whole existence. I haven't been there to lend some support, some comfort…all because you were bright-eyed and only 15."

There it was. A lump in my throat. I swore if I cried, I'd never live it down. "Don't throw that back in my face, Johnny. Not now. Not in a time like this."

"Then when, Juliet, tell me when? Because it's all true. You left, five years ago, ON YOUR OWN. And you know just as well as I do that you weren't ready. I know you weren't. After...." His voice had dropped a level and it was hoarse with regret. "all that."

I opened my mouth to speak. He was too fast. He covered it up himself.

"I'm sorry."

I shrugged it off. I couldn't let him see me like this. I changed the subject and proceeded all the previous questions he was hammering back at me.

"I'm not having any second thoughts, regrets. Law school wasn't for me. I've got high school and college on my back. That's enough for me. Just listen Johnny. I'm sorry for leaving you in the dark. I really am. But how much longer can you string this along? I invented the pity party move, so don't pull one on me, J. I'd just like to know when it is you'll forgive me."

In my mind I was mentally repeating to myself, don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. The words reverberated through my head like a record on repeat. I swallowed and kept myself steady. I stared hard into his inquiring eyes and I kept myself silent as he thought to himself. I watched him think with half a smile, half an angry glare and I couldn't seem to decode his thinking, and this scared me. It was awhile before he spoke again. I wasn't sure why he did that, waiting for long periods of time to speak. It made me nervous and though I tried to desperately hide that, I knew he could see behind my exterior. I had known him for so long that he could read me like a book. And so, when he spoke again, I visibly relaxed.

"I already have." He cracked a small smile.

He couldn't help but listen. Their voices were loud. He knew eavesdropping was not something Johnny would be very happy about, but this girl he had known for barely an hour had caught his attention. Justin was not terribly fond of her. She was just another girl. It never occurred to him that she was somewhat of an importance in Johnny's life. And as he listened to this conversation they were having, he realized that he would see her again.

CHAPTER 5